I teach third culture kids (TCK's). Everyone is born into a culture (or two cultures) simple because of who their parents are. I am American by birth and I would have many things about the American culture ingrained in me even if I had never lived in America. TCK's, like everyone, are born into a culture, but they at some point in their years of growing up, they live in another country. A TCK is defined both by the culture they were born into and by all the cultures they have lived in. A TCK's willingness to embrace a culture determines how much they are changed, but change happens whether they desire it or not.
Since moving to China, I have been in many classes and sessions that have tried to teach me how to teach TCK's. What no one ever told me was that after a while I would start to feel like a TCK. I found at the end of my first year in China, when I was just starting to embrace my life there, that I no longer felt entirely comfortable in the American culture. It was like something was sitting in the back of my brain whispering over and over that I no longer fit entirely into the American mold. I had embraced parts of the Chinese culture and tried to make them part of my American born culture. I don't truly fit into either culture, but I wouldn't trade my experiences in China for anything. I wasn't a TCK, but I was a TCAdult.
Every year that I live in China, I become more of a TCA. During my first year in China I missed my family and friends so much. I missed the food, the culture, the people...I missed everything. The longer I stay in China the less I miss those things. I still miss them, but I have a full and happy life in China that makes missing those things easy to deal with.
When I travel to America I am constantly peppered with the same questions over and over. "So, what is China like?" "What's new in China?" "When are you coming home?" "Isn't it nice to be home?" The answers to these questions are not usually what you expect.
The the question "So what is China like?" I don't know how to respond. I have spend three years in China getting to know the people and the culture and I have still barely scratched the surface. I don't know how to give you a 30 second answer to this question that will satisfy both you are me. Give me a few days and we might get somewhere, but to truly understand you need to go to China...at least for a visit if not longer.
"So what's new in China?" I'm never sure what this question means. Do you want me to tell you about my life in China or do you want to talk politics? If you want to know about my life, please ask about my life. If you want to talk politics, be prepared for me to get defensive of my adopted culture. I'm very protective of China just like I'm protective of America. I have embraced both cultures and I admit that they are both flawed, but they are still very important to me. I will protect both of them strongly.
"When are you coming home?" and "Isn't it nice to be home?" I need you to understand. America is no longer my home. China is my home. Moving back to America is not in my plans right now. I'm sure it will be at some point, but it isn't now. Asking me when I'm coming home or if I'm excited to be home just reminds me that I don't belong here any more. Please feel free to ask me all about my life in China, but please don't assume that it isn't home. It is. My life if there, my home is there, my job is there, and many of my friends are there. I feel at home there. If that ever changes I will probably move somewhere else...maybe back to the States or maybe to another country.
So, this blog is to try to explain to you what my life if like in China. I'll share joys, struggles, insights into the Chinese culture, and anecdotes. Anything I can think of. Hopefully I'll be able to give you an inside view into my life so that you have a chance to understand why I chose to call China home. :)
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