1. You have three plugs in your bathroom, but all of them are in the shower.
2. You are excited because you have an oven.
3. You know that no matter the season, it will be between 80-90F in any building.
4. It’s common to see people carry umbrellas or laying on the beach in tents if the day is sunny.
5. There’s not much difference between sleeping on your bed and sleeping on the floor.
6. You’ve never seen a legitimate copy of an American movie, but you can find pirated copies very easily.
7. You exclaim over how good an American restaurant is even if it would only be considered mediocre in America.
8. You have showered in an open shower before (meaning no shower stall and no bathtub…).
9. You have a China stomach.
10. Squatty potties don’t freak you out.
11. You know to never ever drink the water from the faucet…that is unless you boiled it and don’t mind the weird taste.
12. You are super excited if you have an air conditioner in your bedroom and super sad if you don’t.
13. You can eat till you are completely stuffed on $1 if you eat Chinese. If you eat Western, you can get a normal sized meal for about $8. However, this knowledge does not stop you from eating Western on a regular basis.
14. You know how to make sour cream and other random things from scratch.
15. You budget for cheese each month.
16. You speak fluent Chin-glish.
17. You are often told that your Chinese is so good right before you prove just how bad your Chinese really is.
18. Your favorite part of going to America or Beijing is the shopping and the real American food.
19. Anything below 75F feels cold to you.
20. You speak in metric.
21. You know that shop keepers lie to you all the time and you have no problem lying back.
22. If you find a place you like, you take all your friends and make sure the owner knows. You might want a good deal later.
23. You no longer gasp when the driver of your vehicle does something rather scary…in fact you no longer even think it is scary.
24. You smile, nod, and say ok a lot when a Chinese person speaks to you…whether you know what they are saying or not.
25. You feel like a VIP when you go to the American embassy in Beijing because you get to pass extremely long lines of non-Americans and are served first in a special part of the building.
26. Every one wants to take a picture with you.
27. You make small children cry because you are white.
28. Occasionally a Chinese person will walk up to you and say “Welcome to China!” no matter how long you have been here. And you quickly discover they know no more English than that phrase.
29. You know not to be offended when people regularly comment on your weight…whether good or bad.
30. You have learned just how important tones are to the Chinese language and you still mess them up…like remember that one time you learned how to say a bad word on accident because you said something just a little wrong and your Chinese teacher suddenly had a horrified look on their face?
31. You regularly have people stare at you blankly or laugh in your face after an attempt to speak Chinese.
32. You regularly stare blankly at people when they speak Chinese to you.
33. You don’t like calling non-English speakers on the phone because hand gestures and motions are essential to your communication.
34. You haven’t gone green but you carry reusable bags to the grocery store because you don’t want to pay for plastic ones.
35. Your family and/or friends have called you at least once in the middle of the night because they forgot the time change. But you also can call everyone when you know in America when you have insomnia…
36. Your home has a TV shrine.
37. You manage to do your laundry by pushing buttons until it turns on, but you have no idea what setting your clothes are on…
38. You have an Ayi and you don’t know how you would survive without her.
39. You have bought several foam pads in an attempt to soften your bed…now finally with a egg crate and two thick comforters, you finally don’t wake up stiff and achy in the morning.
40. Central cooling is a wish your heart makes. Central heating controlled by the city leaves you sleeping with the windows open in the winter.
41. You bought a Kindle because American books are few and far between and Nook’s don’t work in China.
42. You routinely pay for a third bag when flying back to China from America.
43. When you go to America you are very excited about how fast the internet is and your ability to get on facebook.
44. You hang dry your clothes…like your grandparents used to do.
45. You no longer plug your nose or exclaim in disgust when you discover a new smell in China…it’s no big deal…just move on with life.
46. You know you are in China when you can smell the China funk…and after a year or two it actually starts to smell almost good.
47. You refer to Chinese cities more often by their initials then their actual names…QD (Qingdao), BJ (Beijing), CD (Chengdu), SY (Shenyang), etc.
48. You know there is no good way to deal with jet lag.
49. You almost don’t mind wearing the same thing two days in a row…after all, the Chinese do it…
50. Bargaining for the best price is a routine part of your life.
51. You know the best shopping is in places that look like a glorified garage sale.
52. You take your shoes off when entering a person’s home…you never know what is lurking on those shoes of yours.
53. You know where all the decent bathrooms are in the city and refuse to use other bathrooms.
54. You have been told that you will never get married because you chose to live in China.
55. You don’t attend a church in China, you attend a fellowship.
56. You only buy as many groceries as you can carry for 20+ minutes and up 3-5 flights of stairs.
57. On a good day, you can find a plane ticket to BJ for $25.
58. You are routinely asked by your American friends when you are coming home and you wish they knew you were already home.
59. You know that carpet doesn’t exist in China.
60. You have learned to make the most of every moment with your friends. You never know when one of you will be leaving.
61. You are perfectly comfortable crossing the street one lane at a time.
62. Skype might be the best thing that ever happened to you.
63. You know that no matter how much they want to, your non-international friends will never understand your life in China and sadly many of them don’t really want to understand.
I love this list. Especially #11. While traveling in the States this summer, I had to ask repeatedly if I could drink the tap water. I couldn't remember if it was just in homes, or if public places were safe too! I also had to ask if hotels in America provide tooth brushes or not...I never pack one anymore in China, because the hotels always have them!!
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