Yesterday at teacher orientation we had a short session about transitions. When I saw it on the schedule, my first thought was "Oh, this is for the new staff. I can tune it out." I turned out to be very wrong. The session had already been presented to our new staff about a month before at pre-field orientation. This session was for the staff who had already been here...the ones who were getting somewhat comfortable in China.
Our speaker, Jerry, started talking about the things that still bothered us. The crowded buses, the tourists, the language. He talked about the things we do to protect ourselves from the pain of those transitions. Then he started to talk about other transitions. Life's transitions. Old friends leaving and new people coming. Teaching new subjects. Losing a loved one.
If Jerry didn't have our attention before, he had our attention then. He was talking about losing a student, Tim, in a tragic accident last year. He told us how impressed the community was by how we had pulled together and shined through the loss of Tim. And suddenly, after being fine with Tim being gone for days, suddenly I wasn't again. The pain came rushing back. What does one do with the pain of grief? When does it get better?
There will be days when I think it's ok. I've gotten over it. And then other days when someone just says his name and I burst into tears. There are many days when I see his family and you can tell it still hurts them so much. So, my dear friends, please continue to think of us. Please don't forget that we are mourning right now. None of us is quite sure how to continue without time and none of us is quite ready for this school year because the pain is still too raw.
Please pray for us. We need every ounce of grace we can get. This transition still hurts so much.
Love you. *hugs*
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