Can You Be Too Excited?

One of my favorite things to teach is the Book.  I get really excited and I really get into the stories.  I become a one (wo)man show. My students love it.  Then comes my favorite part...they ask questions...and sometimes we get really far off topic.  A few days ago we talking about how much the Son loves little kids.  We went off on a rabbit trail and ended up talking about heaven for about 20 minutes. 
Now, I don't know about you, but I'm extremely excited to go to heaven someday.  I think it is going to be unimaginably amazing.  Absolutely inconceivably wonderful!  I tried to share that excitement with my students.  As time went on, they got animated and their questions got harder to answer.  We were all sad when it was time for lunch.
Well, my co-teacher, Karen, came to me this morning.  "So, {insert student's name} mother came to talk to me.  Apparently he has decided he wants to go to heaven today.  She's a little worried and hopes we can tell him that living life is good too."  I laughed out loud, my heart jumped for joy, and my head sang praises.  See this little boy didn't know much about Him at the beginning of the year.  In broken English he has been asking question after question and challenging me since school started.  And slowly, but surely, I've had the privilege of watching his interest grow.  The excitement has been growing in his eyes.  He is feeling the call of His love. 
So, my question...Is it possible to be too excited about heaven?  I guess it might be if we forget to love and live the blessing of this life.  But honestly, I love watching this little boy and the others in this class fall more and more in love every day.  I hope they all chose to follow the one who brings life.

On Saying Goodbye

It's May.  When I was young, May was a month filled with hope.  School was almost over.  It was finally warm again.  Summer was coming and that meant lazy days and fun activities.  I couldn't wait. 
Since coming to China, May has come to mean something additional.  May means goodbye.  I know I've said it over and over, but I live in a transient community.  People are always coming and going and that is just part of life here.  I've learned how to say goodbye.  During the past four years people I like very much have left and returned to their home countries or gone on to other countries.  I miss every single one of them and I was very sad when they left...but I wasn't extremely close to them.  I'd spend time with many of them and I'll stop to see them on my crazy road trips across America, but I didn't spend every day with them when they were here.  They weren't the first people I thought of when I needed a hug or wanted to hang out or wanted to rant.  But, this year is different.
This year several people I am close to are leaving.  I've been telling people for months now, "I don't want to think about it.  I'm not ready.  They still have months."  Well, I can't avoid it anymore.  Most of them are leaving in a month.  It's time to start processing.  It's time to enjoy every moment I can with them.  It's time to be sad.  It's time to talk about them leaving and be sad together.  It's time for laughter, stolen moments of joy, and sadness.  It's time for goodbye pictures, tons of meals together, and more laughter.  I honestly don't know what I'll do when these friends are gone.  A part of me will be missing.  I'll miss them every time I go to ask them over for a meal or every time I go to call them on the phone.
I do know one thing for sure though.  It will be ok.  I'll see them again (even if not on this earth) and we'll be able to keep in touch through email, Skype, and Facebook.  Thank God for technology!  What did international people do before the internet?  And thankfully, most of the people I'm close to are still here.  And they will be missing these people to.  We can do this together.
However, for now my friends are still here.  And I'm going to go make some more memories with them...

Lessons in Following Him

The last several weeks since I became a third grade teacher have been hard.  The first week was the hardest.  I really hate change.  I find that truth super entertaining with the life I have chosen to lead.  Really, what kind of sadistic idiot am I? "Hmmm...I really hate change.  Let's move to a foreign country and work in an international school where I'm not sure life will stay the safe from one day to the next!"  See, it just sounds stupid.  However, despite my hatred of change, God is good and my life here is AMAZING!  Really, it is.  I love my life.  But back to the topic I started with.
My first week in 3rd grade saw me constantly trying to pull myself out of a downhill spiral into depression.  Yep, it was that hard.  I felt unsupported and lost in the bigger change of friends suddenly returning to America.
There was one day when we had just finished a meeting and I literally could not pull myself off the floor.  I was too depressed to move.  My heart started crying to God.  "God, I just need one person.  I need one person to see me and ask if I'm ok.  Then I know I can get off this floor.  Please God!"  No sooner had the prayer been uttered than one of my closest friends turned around and said, "Hey, Keller, you ok?"  It worked.  With those few words he stopped my spiral into depression and I was able to get off the floor.  I thanked God over and over....I should probably also thank my friend, though I know he doesn't remember doing it.
A few days later things were getting better when my elementary principal called to see how I was doing.  During the course of the conversation it came out that he planned on me doing 2nd and 3rd grade parent-teacher conferences.  Now, I hate nothing about teaching more than parent-teacher conferences.  After I hung up with my principal, the depression was back.  How as I going to do this?!
A few days later, I learned that my principal hung up the phone after our conversation and turned to his wife and said, "I just pushed Amy Keller off the edge."  His wife if one of my best friends and she knows how I feel about conferences so she quickly jumped to my aid.  My principal then did everything he could to make my conference days as light as possible.  I ended up with only 5 conferences and I was able to get a much better handle on 3rd grade during those two days with the extra time I had.
The last few weeks have made things easier and easier (though it's still a hard).  Last week we had two counselors come visit our school and it was wonderful to get to talk to them.  I was able to do a lot of verbal processing during my time with them.  And a lot of that processing was that even though the last few weeks have been hard, it's been worth it.  In these last few weeks Christ has reminded me of my need to rely on him and of the love he has for me.  He has done this through the love and support of others.
Now, why am I writing this post?  To complain?  No.  I'm writing it to rejoice.  Keep reading.
There is something beautiful and amazing the last several weeks (and well, the past 5 years) have taught me.  Here are my jumbled and beautiful thoughts.
1) The Christian life is not about rules.  It is not about avoiding sin.  In fact, it had nothing to do with me.  The Christian life is about love.  Christ's love for us.  This extreme outpouring of love that we cannot explain, fathom or understand.  And if we accept that love, it will flow through us.  Suddenly the differences and issues that we have within ourselves and with each other will not seem quite so important in the light of that love.  We won't be ruled by a fear of sinning.  We'll want to avoid that sin because out focus will be on the love.  The beautiful chaos of God's love.  It's the most amazing thing I've ever experienced.  And the sad truth is we so often choose not to live in that love.  We keep trying to do things on our own outside of his grace and love.  We are back to sinning and that is the root of all our problems.
2) On a somewhat different strain of thought, I've also been mulling over that thought that the church is not a building.  The church is a group of imperfect people who have accepted Christ's love.  Our job in this world is to love each other and show Christ's love to those who haven't accepted it yet.  Yes, we will disagree and we will disagree all the time.  We will fight and we will sin.  We are not perfect.  But the church belongs to Christ.  Not to us.  It is not our job to figure it out, but to live in the love of the Savior and share that love with others.
Yesterday, I spent time with the church.  We gathered and worshiped together.  There is something about this time of year.  We are all gearing up for pain.  Summer here means pain.  It means that time of year when our friends leave and return to their home countries has once again come.  Our hearts have already started breaking in anticipation.  There were very few dry eyes in church yesterday as we faced this reality.
This is also a beautiful time of year though.  This is the time of year when our hearts are broken so we realize we can't stand in our own strength.  So often, I try to take on the world all on my own.  I tell myself that I can get through this on my own.  It's not true.  All good things come through Christ and I so often forget that.  Yesterday, I knew that I needed to rely on Christ.  My life is a mess of transition and pain right now and in that pain, I found beautiful worship.  Yesterday the Spirit moved in our fellowship.  I could feel the love, devotion, abandon, and surrender within myself and in others.  We sang together, we cried together, we laughed together, and we loved together.  This is what the church is about.  People who love Christ because he loved us first and died for us and who live that out in their lives.  The church is not a building, programs, or having the right answers.  Church is a huge group of loved sinners.  Church is the most beautiful thing in the world!
3) No to the really hard part....I have NO RIGHT to decide who is worthy of God's love.  I have found myself several times over the past few years viewing American politics from the outside.  I have seen a lot of news lately about/from Christians who are anti-gay marriage and who are bashing and boycotting companies that are.
People, we are missing the point!  Once again we are focusing on the sin and not the people in need of the Savior.  These are people who are trying to make their way in the world just like the rest of us.  They are lost.  They are hurting.  They are broken.  Some of them may even have been beaten, bruised, and crushed by the church.  That beautiful body of believers that should be pouring out Christ's love on a broken world is in fact doing everything it can to turn away those we find "unworthy."  We are doing this so wrong, friends.  Christ came to save all.  The murders, the idolators, the rapists, the homosexuals, the drunks, the abusers, the hypocrites, and everyone in between.  None of us deserve his love and forgiveness, but it has been offered freely to all.  I am no better than any other person.  And if Christ can love me, why wouldn't he be able to love them.  I'm going to let that thought rule my life and I'm going to do everything I can in my own broken sinfulness to reach out to everyone with Christ's love.  Then once they have known His love and grace, I'll leave it up to Him to convict and change them.  Picketing and boycotting isn't going to show Christ's love...just my own self-righteousness which is honestly is dirty stinking rags to Christ and to the world.
And before I end, please know that I'm definitely not trying to say I'm doing better at this than you are.  I'm writing this post as much to myself as to anyone.  I often need help remembering these truths.

My Life in Transition

There is so much change in my international life.  The students I grow to love each year may leave my class/our school with only a day's notice.  I am constantly making and losing friends.  Transition makes you feel slightly off balance, but eventually you learn how to embrace it and live a full life with it.  One of the ways I do this is by holding firm to the constants in my life.  I am a single twenty-six year old American woman who teaches second grade.  Yesterday one of those constants was challenged and I wasn't just thrown off balance.  I was bowled over.  And no, I don't have a boyfriend so stop thinking that.
It all started when a friend found a lump.  She immediately went to the doctor and then back to America.  Yesterday they confirmed she had breast cancer.  Our community has responded to this whole situation on our knees and I love that.  When she found out that she did, in fact, have cancer, her husband started making arrangements to travel back to be with her.  Her husband is one of our third grade teachers.  *Transition #1
Yesterday afternoon our elementary principal came into my class and asked either myself of my co-teacher to step up and teach his third grade class.  Second grade this year is very small and manageable in one class.  Third grade is not small and they need two classes.  He left us floored.  Either I lose my favorite co-teacher to another grade or I lose her and my class.  What do I do? *Begin Transition #2
We talked.  We felt numb.  We cried.  We fought the transition.  We came to a conclusion. 
Today is my last day (this year) as a second grade teacher.  In one and a half hours I'll said goodbye to my class...a class that has stretched me, driven me crazy, made me cry, made me laugh, made me proud, and who I will just plain miss and I will become a third grade teacher for a quarter.  All of us cried off and on for the entire time before school ended.  I sent every one of my students home in tears.  We finished a box of tissues and got another.  The third grade class also came down the stairs clutching crumpled tissues.
Now may be when you are thinking, what is the big deal?  It's one quarter and she'll be back in second grade.  They are just changing teachers.
The big deal is as a teacher you build your life into your students.  For those 9 months they are in your grade, they are your children.  You teach them facts, how to take care of themselves, how to be a friend, how to have manners, how to love, and so much more.  You are a parent.  The big deal is that I have to shift my focus from building into these students every moment to building into others.  The big deal is that I'm leaving a co-teacher I know inside and out and teaching with a friend that I've never taught with before.  None of these things are bad.  In fact, I'm excited about some of them, but first I need to give myself to mourn the end of my school year.  I need to be sad about not seeing my second graders each day and start being excited working with someone new and teaching some students that I gave my whole heart to last year.  I usually have so much more time and warning to mourn my class.  I'm so tired and I've never had a headache this bad before.  However, I'm going to focus on the positive.  Tomorrow, I am going to Xi'an to see some Terra Cotta Soldiers and more.  Then I have one whole week to process this....
God please help us all to thrive in this new change.

Another Funny Taxi Story

Today I went to see Les Miserable with two fabulous girlfriends.  It's the first time I've seen it on the big screen and it was an amazing, beautiful, and emotional experience.  However, this blog post is not about the movie.  This blog post is about how we got to the movie and then how we back home from the movie.
This afternoon my friend, Amy, and I grabbed a taxi outside of our complex to get into town.  We were meeting our friend, Karen, at the theater.  Our taxi driver was very nice and started to talk to us a bit.  However with two introverts in the back seat, we didn't get so far in that conversation.  However, he did ask us what country we were from.  When we told him, he proudly proclaimed "Obama!"  I think it is funny that Chinese people seem to be more proud of America's president than we are...but that has nothing to do with anything in this post.
We made it to the theater somewhat slowly...rather odd for a taxi driver..usually they drive like maniac race car drivers.  As the movie started and I spent time with two such great friends, I completely forgot about our taxi driver. 
After our movie, Amy had a date with her husband so Karen and I grabbed a taxi home together (yes, I ride in tons of taxis).  Because she gets car sick, Karen rode in the front with the driver and I am SO glad that she did.  The taxi driver was completely enamored with Karen the entire ride home.  He laid on the flirting nice and thick and barely acknowledge that I was in the back seat at all.  His world was centered around my beautiful friend in the front seat.  At one point he asked where we were from.  Karen replied, "Meiguo" (America).  He proudly proclaimed "Obama!"  All I could think was NO WAY!  This was the exact same taxi driver I had just four hours before.  I was shocked...however, due to the crazy amount of flirting going on by the taxi driver, I couldn't get in a word to tell Karen this fabulous development.  I shouldn't have worried though.  Halfway through our ride (which I'm pretty sure I could have walked faster through...he was really enjoying flirting too much to drive), he turned around and in Chinese told me "I drove you into town earlier.  But not with this girl...with another one.  She had long brown hair..." He went on and on.  He told me all about our ride earlier in the day.  When I laughingly confirmed this fact to both him and Karen, he smacked his head and said "Oh my God!" in perfect English.  He then turned back to Karen and continued to flirt.  One street before we got home, he pulled the car over, pulled his phone out of his pocket, and asked Karen for her number.  Poor thing gave it to him...yes, he has already texted her...in fact, he texted her within five minutes of us getting home. 
What a fun way to spend a taxi ride home! Sorry, Karen.  Oh, and there was an added perk.  I understood everything that was said in the conversation tonight!  Usually I'm stuck within the first five minutes and they give up trying to get me to understand, but tonight, I made it through all 20ish minutes of Chinese.  So either my Chinese is improving or he knows how to speak foreigner Chinese.  I'm going to go with the former and feel good about all the hours I struggle through Chinese lessons. What a fabulous day it has been!

I Used to Write Him Letters

When I was 15 years old, I started writing letters to my future husband.  They were nothing special, but I wrote to him every few months about thoughts I had, how I prayed for him, how I couldn't wait to meet him, etc.  Super cheese, but really liked doing it. 
When I was 19 I fell in love for the first time.  When we got engaged, I started writing my letters to him.  I poured my love for him into those letters and I wrote him all the time.  For various reasons (that I would be happy to discuss with you if you ever want to ask), I broke off our engagement.  The major reason was that I knew that I had to choose in that moment to follow my heart and my desires or follow God and what he had planned for my life.  I decided to follow God and I stopped writing. 
At first I stopped writing because it took a while for my heart to heal.  I didn't regret my decision to follow God, but my heart was broken.  The letters got "lost" at some point during this time.  Later when my heart had healed, I still didn't write.  I knew that when I chose to follow God, he might choose to never give me a husband.  At first I acknowledged that truth, but I wasn't ok with it.  Now years later, I can honestly say I would be ok if I never had a husband or family, but I really really want one some day.
When I fully embraced the truth that I might always be single, I put my heart on guard.  I am a firm believer that the guy should make the first move.  However, when I was younger, I was too free with my love.  I was happy to fall hard for any guy that I decided I liked.  It got me hurt several times...and there is nothing worse than a good friend hurting you and never knowing.  When I chose to follow God, I put my heart on guard.  I truly try hard to see every guy as a friend and a brother in Christ and I don't usually let myself go beyond that.  Sometimes I'll develop a crush, but I treat him just the same and I won't act on it unless he tells me has feelings for me.  At that point, I'll really think hard about my feelings for someone and if I want to be with that guy, I guarantee I'll fall hard and fast.  I love with my whole heart and hold nothing back.
So, why am I boring you with this sappy post?  Because I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  Some of my friends are trying to set me up both here and in the States.  I secretly love the attention, even if it is super embarrassing sometimes, but I have to be honest in telling you that despite all your efforts, unless the guy tells me outright that he wants to date me, my heart will be on guard.  He has to act first.
And in the meantime, maybe I'll start writing him again...I'll have to think about that a little more though...and whoever you are, I can't wait to meet you and love you.  And if my husband's parents decided not to have kids...well then I'll rest in the arms of the Lover of my soul and I'll be perfectly happy.  He really is all I need and his grace is sufficient.
Now I must go gag at my sappiness. :)

On Trying to Sleep In and Crazy Cats

During every break off of school, there is one or two days that I will sleep 12 hours.  It is a great way for my poor body to recover from my highly busy and somewhat stressful job (which I absolutely love).  Last night, I decided I was going to sleep for 12 hours. :)
I went to bed at 10:30pm as tired as could be and fell asleep immediately.  My first 8 hours were easy to get through, but then the disturbances began...
At 6am, I had to go to the bathroom...sad reality.  When I got back, my cat decided I was up so it was time to pet him.  That didn't last long.  I was out again in 5 minutes.
8am, really loud fireworks scared me to death.  My cat decided I was up so it was time to pet him.  Lasted a little longer this time...maybe 8 minutes.
8:15am, another volley of fireworks scared the living daylights out of me...still too out of it to remember I have ear plugs, but my cat decided I was up so it was time to pet him.  Again, that didn't last long.  I was out again in 2 minutes.
At 9:30am, I was sleeping quite peacefully with no fireworks when BAM!  I had a ten pound cat land on my chest and demand to be pet right that instant and no he was not going to let me sleep anymore.  This was his time!  Since he doesn't usually do this (just sometimes) I wondered what was up...that and the morning is unusually dark.  I walked out into my living room and saw that it was snowing.  That explains it.  My cat LOVES the snow and goes totally crazy when it snows.  So here is to the fifth or sixth time it has snowed this season (it usually snows once or twice) and to the cat who is now sleeping in my bed which he forced me to leave less than 30 minutes ago.  You win, Nacho.  You win...

Getting Ready for Chun Jie...

My mother absolutely refuses to go shopping for anything right before Christmas.  She hates the crowds and long lines.  Over the last several years I've actually come not to mind shopping in a crowd in America because it feels like a normal day of shopping in Qingdao. 
Chun Jie (aka Chinese New Year) is the Chinese equivalent of Christmas.  Everyone goes out shopping for gifts and tons of food.  Millions of people (literally) leave to go on vacations or visit family.  Traffic is out of control and chaos ensues.  Qingdao is a city of roughly 9 million people, but I never feel like there are that many people here until Chun Jie (well and when tourists flood in for the summer...but we have a lot more than 9 million people in the city then).  There are people everywhere and the stores are crazy.
Every month our school organizes a bus to take us out to Metro (China's Sam's Club or Costco).  Metro is really far away so having the bus is super nice.  However, every year I forget that the previous year I swore I would never go to Metro within two weeks of Chun Jie.  Yesterday I went to Metro and Chun Jie technically starts today....dumb move, Amy. 
Shopping at Metro yesterday was an interesting experience.  I started walking around and getting what I needed while dodging tons of other shoppers.  No big deal.  At one point I reached for an item and a little old lady grabbed my cart and started asking me all about what I was buying and why was I buying it.  Umm...not too bad, but a little weird.  I've had people look into my cart and comment on what I'm buying before, but never grab it.  Weird, but still doing ok. 
I went to grab something else and a middle-aged Chinese man stopped me and asked if I was cold...I wasn't wearing my coat, but we were inside.  When I told him I wasn't he started asking me all kinds of questions about my life.  Still not weird, things like that happen a lot.  The weird thing was that after about 3 questions he told me I was beautiful, asked a few more questions, told me I was beautiful, asked some more questions, and told me I was beautiful again.  After the second beautiful, I was uncomfortable...especially since we had already covered that I wasn't married.  After the third beautiful, I kindly told him I had to go.  He laughed, but finally let me go.  Ummm...ok.  This is getting a little weird.  (Random side note - after this experience I realized that the reason he thought I was so beautiful was because I wasn't wearing make-up and Chinese people think red cheeks are beautiful and I have very red cheeks that are normally covered up by my make-up.  Gives you a new perspective on beauty, doesn't it?)
I went to get in "line" to check out and to be honest, the lines were pretty legit.  There was about 20 people in each line so I settled in for a long wait (the major reason I never want to go to Metro at this time...I spent 45 minutes in line).  After 30 or so minutes in line, another line opened up and people literally tried to trample each other to get into that line.  Two women started having a shoving contest with their carts to see who could go first.  Umm...now we have reached weird and crazy. 
After I finally made it through the line and got checked out (after a fiasco where my credit card wouldn't scan and I had to borrow a friends...now I was embarrassed too).  We finally all made it back to the bus and left only a half hour late which wasn't bad considering how many people where in Metro.  Then we sat in traffic for 15 minutes trying to get less than a block away because there was a huge traffic jam where everyone was trying to get through a street light at the same time and no one was willing to concede any ground.  Uggghhh...seriously?  Holidays bring out the worst in people.
However I finally made it home and got a fabulous phone call from a great friend in America so life was good and happy.  Now today I have the pleasure of listening to the beginning of what will be about 3 weeks of fireworks...that go at least 12 hours a day until Lantern Festival...which is my favorite Chinese holiday.  It's gorgeous and so much fun. 
But for now, I'll just try to enjoy the fireworks, get through another week of school and then spend two weeks catching up with my friends and watching my favorite tv shows...I'll be up most of the night anyway.  Anyone want to call me over Chun Jie vacation?  I'm off school from Feb. 9-24th and I'll be awake really late each night (the fireworks are often too loud to sleep through).  Just let me know. :)

Happy 2013!

I can't believe it is already a new year!  So much has happened this year, but the time went so incredibly fast.  2012  was definitely a good year, but it was also full of challenges.  I may write some more about those later.  In this post I'm going to give you an update on my resolutions from last year and update the new ones for 2013.
So...first, how did I do on my 2012 resolutions?
1. Read the Book and talk to Dad every day.  Honestly failed at this one.  I'm not sure I'll ever reach this goal because of my fallen state, but I'll keep in on my list of resolutions and I'll never give up on it.
2. Change my 2nd grade curriculum enough that I am no longer bored with teaching.  2nd grade changed a lot this year and now I'm only mildly bored which is a vast improvement.  Plus, we got a really hard class this year.  That has made things interesting in a not so fabulous way...So, things will keep changing in 2nd grade probably until I'm done teaching that grade.  Who wants to stay the same anyway?
3. Get to book three in my Chinese lessons.  So, embarrassment at my level of Chinese prompted this one.  And I honestly didn't get to book three in my lessons (not even close), but I learned a lot this year.  I have a fabulous teacher who just speaks to me in Chinese for most of our lesson (forget the book) and I learn new words that way.  My Chinese still isn't great, but I've gained a lot of confidence and vocabulary this year.
4. Take a road trip across America and visit every person who asks me to come see them. I did this!  It was incredibly fun!  I visited something like 26 states and saw about 100 people.  I loved seeing everyone and being in new places.  One of my very best vacations ever!
5. Go at least 3 places (city, state, or country) I have never been before.  In 2012 I definitely made it to more than 3 new places.  I went to the Philippines, Bangkok, Seattle, DC, and saw tons of other places that I had never been to while on my road trip.  I really like traveling. :)
6. Try a new recipe every week and start a recipe blog.  Failed.  Honestly, I was doing really well with this one until I went on an 8 week road trip in the summer.  Then in September I found out I was allergic to almonds and peanuts and that I was lactose intolerant.  Finding out you can't eat cheese or drink milk or eat peanut butter can be very depressing.  In fact it was really depressing since most Western recipes have milk or cheese in them.  I didn't really cook anything for weeks.  I've gotten over that slump and I'm working on figuring out what I can cook now.  And who cares if I can eat it or not?  I can still cook it for friends, right?
7. Read 52 new books.  I read 53 books actually.  It was fun.  And intense.  The best book I read was called "The Hush" by William Flowers.  If you haven't read it, you should.  It was superb.
8. Do one thing that scares me.  Did this too.  I learned how to scuba dive.  It didn't scare me as much at first, but our first two dives were really rough.  I hated them.  I started trying to find ways not to finish, but my dive instructor/principal/friend talked me into.  I'm glad he did.  I loved the last two dives...even though I found out I had an ear infection during them and that made it really hard to go down.  Still, I'm really glad I conquered that fear.  And it really is beautiful down under the water.

Ok, so for the new resolutions.
1. Read the book and talk to Dad every day.  That's right.  I'm trying again.  Here goes.
2. Visit at least 1 new country. And I have to tell you that I'm planning to spend next Christmas in England, Scotland, and Wales.  And I'm thinking about going to Malaysia with a friend over Chinese New Year.  So I'll probably blow this one out of the water. :)
3. Bake and decorate a cake each month.  I'm intimidated by cakes and cupcakes.  I want to conquer this by making a bunch of these things this year.  I may recruit some help with the creativity part, but I'm really excited about this one.
4. Read 2+ books each month. Significantly easier than 52 books.  Yet still a challenge to keep reading. :)
5. Publish my recipes somehow. I want to share my recipes with others in a way that they can access any time they want rather than having ask me for them.  This will probably be in the form of a blog, but we'll see.
6. Get a 2nd tattoo. I reserve the right to change my mind on this one, but I really think I want to get a second tattoo.  I still have to figure out where, but I think I definitely know what I want.  I'll keep you posted.
7. Make 5+ crochet projects. I love crocheting and would like to dedicate more time to it this year.  I'm currently knee deep in project number 1.
8. Learn to knit. If I like crocheting, will I like knitting?  It's time to find out.
9. Decorate my house. I have my very own house now.  I want to make it pretty.  I've started working on this already, but I want to have it well and fully decorated this year.
10. Try 50+ new recipes. Have I mentioned that I love cooking?
11. Get more healthy. Ok, so here's the hard one.  I want to get more healthy.  Drop weight, start exercising more frequently, eat better, etc.  I want to take charge of my life and stop being a couch potato.  We'll see how it goes.

So that is it for today.  Hope you made resolutions too.  It's nice to have goals to strive toward.  Happy 2013!

Growing into Love

I've heard couples say it over and over.  "I didn't like my husband/wife when I first met them."  I have heard this for ages and I've finally realized that this doesn't just happen between spouses.  It happens with many things. 
Each year as a new class walks through my door all I can think is "I miss last year's class."  Granted I didn't like last year's class when they came in the first day, but eventually I grew to love them.  Every year I am sad to see that year's class go.
My very best friends in my life, I didn't like most of them the first time we met.  It took spending some time together and getting to know each other before I grew to love them as a person.
Two months ago I got a kitten.  Life with him around hasn't always been easy and there were days I have wanted to strangle him or give him away.  I miss getting a full nights sleep.  I miss coming home and not finding the contents of my trash strewn across my apartment.  I miss not having broken plants.  I miss not constantly being covered in scratches.  But I  realized something amazing tonight. 
Tonight I was sitting on my couch enjoying my very last of Thanksgiving pecan pie.  Nacho Libre was trying to help me eat my pie.  He also had tried to help my eat leftover turkey not long before.  I kept trying to move the pie out of his reach and tell him no.  Not long after our little game began he managed to just barely stick his paw in the pie before I pulled it back.  Like a sneaky child he slowly put his paw in his mouth.  I could almost see the "I won" smile on his face. 
It was in that crazy moment that I realized that I love my cat.  Despite all the terror, frustration, and sleepless hours he has introduced into my life, I wouldn't trade him for anything.  I feel that way at some point every year about my class.  Sometimes loves grabs hold of you immediately and never lets you go.  And sometimes love sneaks up behind you and catches you by surprise.  Sometimes love irritates you endlessly before you realize you wouldn't want to live without it.  And honestly, I have to say that I really do like being surprised in this way.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Yesterday I hosted my very first Thanksgiving meal.  There were ten people in my house (myself included) for the whole day and it was the most amazing Thanksgiving I've ever had.  And honestly, I think it was fun that only five of those ten people were Americans.  I got to introduce two friends from the UK and one from Finland to Thanksgiving this year.  Last year, I introduced my other two friends from the UK to Thanksgiving. :)
As many of you know, I'm obsessed with cooking so I took Friday off school and started cooking.  I cooked several things during the day, cleaned my house, and got totally excited about partying the next day.
My fabulous friends starting arriving around 10:30 and we chowed down on cinnamon rolls (apparently not something they eat in the UK or Finland, but still very much enjoyed) and the fun began.  During the day we talked, laughed, played games, cooked, ate, watched football games, ate, played x-box, ate, and played some more games.  My little apartment was bursting at the seams, but I felt like I was with family.  The day was simply wonderful.  I wouldn't have traded it for anything else.
Plus now I have tackled a lot of firsts on the Thanksgiving menu.  My first turkey, my first sweet potato casserole, my first pecan pie, and my first stuffing.  They all tasted great if I do say so myself.  So great that half of the people there lost belts and unbuttoned to make room. Haha.  Truly the best day ever.

Now I'm going to add a thankful list here at the end of my post. 
- I am thankful for my relationship with a Father that saved me from myself.
- I'm thankful for 5 years in China...5 wonderful years.
- I'm thankful for a supportive and loving family.
- I'm thankful for every single one of the friends I have.
- I'm thankful for an intense love of cooking.
- I'm thankful for mystery and adventure (how fun would my life be if I know what was going to happen all the time?)
- I'm thankful for living in an international community.  I've learned so much about so many cultures in the last 5 years.
- I'm thankful for an absolutely amazing job that I LOVE.
- I'm thankful for my psychotic cat.
- I'm thankful for having my basic provisions taken care of (home, food, heat, water, clothing, etc.)
- I'm thankful for life's blessing and trials for they are making me into the person the Father wants me to be.
- I'm thankful for laughter, smiles, music, entertainment, love, happiness, and too many other things to list.
- I'm thankful for having a life that I love.
- I'm thankful for Thanksgiving which reminds me to take a day each year to remember what I'm thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving.

I am an Introvert

I'm a total introvert.  Honestly, about 350 days a year I LOVE being an introvert.  I love the fact that I am comfortable with my own company, that I can find peace in the silence, and that I don't need to have another person around to feel complete.  I love the days I spend alone and pretend the world outside doesn't exist.  My favorite days are the ones where I don't say an entire word the whole day.   I also love that I've learned (for the most part) how to balance life as an introvert while interacting with/being friend extroverts on a regular basis.  
(Bunny trail: Did you know that I almost never said anything before I went to college?  The end of my first year of college, I made friends with an extrovert who changed my life.  I learned how to be friends with extroverts that year.  During the last seven-ish years I've been working to learn how to be an introvert who likes being friends with both introverts and extroverts.  It's not always easy, but it is worth it to me.)
There are some days when my need to be exclusively introverted kicks in.  Most of the time I plan time to be introverted.  I usually spend one day each week completely alone.  Usually one day is enough, but sometimes I need more.  And then there are days when my introverted-ness kicks in unexpectedly.  Those are the days when I want to fight it, but then I find more peace when I just let myself be who I am.
This weekend my introverted-ness caught me unawares.  I had a rough week at school with a few students and I could feel myself pulling into my shell.  I made it through the rest of the school week with some support from some awesome friends, but Saturday arrived and I knew I needed to cancel my plans for the day and just stay home.  I fought against it because I wanted to be with friends, but when I gave in...I found peace and rest.  Sunday needed to be a turtle day too, but I needed groceries so I also decided to go to fellowship (...where the Father filled me with His peace. I'm glad I went.) After fellowship, I planned to run home right after grabbing some groceries, but a friend somehow talked me into lunch first.  I ended up going to lunch with three introverts.  It was so peaceful.  We had a good conversation, but there was no pressure to make conversation.  I wasn't judged in my desire not to speak; I was supported....silently. :)  It was just what I needed today.  It made me love being an introvert.  I felt at peace. 
Now I'm on my couch alone in my house.  I won't say another word the rest of the day.  I can't tell you how unbelievably excited that makes me.  I'm not sure how many more days I'll need to be in my turtle shell this week, but I think it may be the whole week.  And to my wonderful extroverted friends, please know that I am not hiding.  I am resting.  It's been too long since I've allowed myself to rest.  I'll come back to the extroverted world soon.  But this week, I'm not going to try to be anyone but me.
Just be glad I'm not taking a vow of silence.  :) ...Though honestly, the idea really does appeal to me.  There is so much to be learned from silence.

Pouring Out His Love

The Father has been so gracious to me the last several weeks.  He has been showering me with love.  I'm sure he was doing it before, but since I've started looking for it, I see it everywhere.  It's communicated in a song, a word of encouragement, a hug, a verse, singing, and on it goes.  The place I have seen this love the greatest has been through friends.  Friends who seek my company, ask me how I'm doing, pray for me, and let me know that I am loved.  It's such a foreign concept to feel so loved and sometimes I have a hard time letting myself be loved. 
I have one fabulous friend who calls me out on this all the time.  I love spending time with him because he reminds me that I'm special.  I have another fabulous friend who stops by often during her day just to ask me how I'm doing.  I have another friend who tells me often how much she likes being my friend.  Every one of these people (and even more) make me feel so special because they take the time to care about me...and this in turn reminds me of the love of my Saviour.  My friends' love for me is a strong force in my life and the Father's love is one million times stronger.  How can I even comprehend that love?  The love I offer him in return is a wisp of smoke, yet he desires it.  He desires my love.  What an amazing and overwhelming thought. 

Mistakes in Writing

I have discovered in my years in China that almost every Chinese person can recognize and write  the Western alphabet.  However, since they rarely write the alphabet, their writing is very standardized.  In America I can tell the difference between people's handwriting easily, but here it is much harder.  It all looks much the same.  The more we write the letters of the alphabet, the more we leave our own fingerprint all over them.  In a way they become our own.
The reverse thing happens when it comes to Chinese characters.  I write my characters very standard and the Chinese people write them with a more individualized style.
Needless to say this presents a challenge when reading.  The Chinese people struggle to read my letters and I struggle to read their characters.  This has provided for many entertaining mistakes in writing.  When I try to read characters, I almost give up before I start.  Out of the thousands of Chinese characters I can read and recognize about 150 and I struggle to keep straight.  For me it isn't so much a problem of recognizing the stylistic characters but rather knowing what they are in the first place. 
The Chinese people don't have to make this excuse when writing the alphabet though.  There are only 26 letters to learn and many of them learned them in grade school.  They may not be able to read the words, but they can surely write them down.  However, we reach a problem when they see that a foreigners letters aren't very standardized.  To a Chinese eye, they never know what my "6" is.  It doesn't look right.  Every single person asks what it is.  My "K" looks like an "R" to them.  And on it goes. 
There is hope though.  I don't usually write things down for the Chinese people...we usually just talk...something I am thankfully getting a little better at each week.  However, sometimes they ask me to write my name down and then we have problems.
The first year I was in China, I got a tax receipt with the name Amy Reller on it.  When I told someone, they said it didn't matter.   That same year, I applied for a card to Metro (similar to the American Sam's Club or Costco).  My card again said Amy Reller.  I started trying to form better K's after that.  But today....today I got the best name mistake ever. 
This morning I rode with my poor cat into town to get him a rabies shot (my cat is officially legally vaccinated).  After some miming and a call to my fabulous Chinese teacher for translation help, they started filling out a vaccination record.  I already had a record for another shot he had been given the week before so they just copied the information I had written then.  The cat was given his shot and we went on our merry way.  On the way home while riding in a taxi, I pulled out the record to look at it.  Within 3 seconds I was laughing out loud.  My name was spelled wrong, but this time I wasn't Amy Reller.  This time I was Amy Killer.  I'm still laughing.  I love living in China and I'm so glad it's not always me making the ridiculous mistakes.

One of Those Days

Today was one of those days.  You know the ones.  No, not the bad one...It was one of those days that you wouldn't trade for the world, yet you definitely wouldn't want to relive it either.  Today was just so emotionally draining.
I work for an amazing school that is concerned for not only our professional development, but also our social, emotional, and spiritual development.  Every year they have a great couple come to our school and offer their counseling services.  Today I decided to go.  I didn't know what to expect because I had never formally talked to a counselor.  I'm so glad I went.  I was so blessed by our discussion.
We discussed many things, but I want to share one thing that really stuck out to me.  They said, "God created us not as humans doing, but as human beings.  Their point was that we do not find our value in the Father by what we do in His name.  Our value comes from being in the Father.  Curling up in his arms and letting him hold us.  Allowing ourselves to be secure in him as he uses us.
For so long I have been trying to heal myself.  I have been taking steps toward forgiveness and healing.  But that isn't really my job.  It is my job to trust God to bring situations into my life that will heal me and to let him do his work in me.  I don't need to leave the safety of his arms to find healing.  His arms are where the healing is.  It made me feel so much better to be reminded that this healing is something he is doing in me....not something that I have to accomplish on my own.  I am not enough on my own.  So much peace comes with that realization.

On Love

I heard it.  Your groan when you read my title.  Take heart.   It's ok to keep reading.  I don't think you'll gag. :)
Several weeks ago I began working on some things in my life.  Anger.  Pain.  Shame.  Feeling that I am completely unworthy of love.  I've been working through these things with the help of a book that was given to me this summer.  It's for kids from dysfunctional families.  This book has been one of the greatest blessings I have ever received.  It's helped me to get start working through so many things.  Yet, at the same time, it's making me raw.  It's not fun to deal with these emotions.  I've struggled through this...a lot.  But I haven't done it alone.
I'm so amazed.  During my life, I have somehow come to believe that I can never be good enough to deserve or be worthy of anyone's love.  I believe there is something inherently wrong with me.  A giant blemish the whole world sees and avoids.  I was so wrong!  During the last few weeks the father has opened my eyes.  I am very loved!  I am loved by people in the states.  By my family.  By so many people here in China.  I was blown away by just how loved I am.  It still gets me giddy every time I think about it.  Now that I had discovered I was loved by the people around me, I felt like a person who hadn't seen the sun in too long.  I looked for love at every opportunity and soaked it up. 
Then the Father did something amazing.  I had a book.  A book called The Hush (by William Flowers).  I got this book free off Amazon.  From the moment I got the book I knew I had to read it...and soon.  Only two days after I got the book, I started reading it.  It blew me away.  It's a story about the passion week.  It follows the Savior through his last week of life and makes the story found in the Book a bit more dramatic.  The author described the love that the Savior felt for every person.  He could look into their eyes, know everything they had ever done, and he still loved them.  And his loved changed the lives of those he interacted with.  Now, don't get me wrong, this is something I have known since I was a very little girl, but there is a vast difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge.  Knowing the Father loved me was all head knowledge.  I didn't let it touch my heart.  I saw the Father as the begrudging lover.  The one who loved me because he felt he had to.  Why would he want a wretched sinner like me?  When I read this book, I cried through most of it.  I finally understood that the Father CHOSE to love me.  And that love for me was so great that he CHOSE to die for me.  He didn't have to...but he LOVED me.  He loved me when it made no sense.
When my heart finally understood this, I was blown away.  I repeated it like a mantra.  "He loves me.  He really loves me.  He chose to love me with no benefit to himself.  He died for me.  I can't believe he loved me that much."  I couldn't believe it.  And as a result of understanding his love, my love for him grew exponentially.  I was and still am extremely twitterpated.  I am so desperately in love.  And for the first time, I don't care if I'm worth it or not.  I simply know that my Savior loved me more than I can understand and he gave me friends who also love me.  My heart is just so incredibly full....I think it might burst.  I guess this is what it feels like to truly be in love.

My Feelings on Being Overseas

This blog has two parts.  First, the major things that drive me crazy about living internationally and second, the things I love about living internationally.  Why am I writing this blog?  Because a little reflection is always good and because I just happened to be thinking about it.
Ok, first the things that drive me crazy.  (I always like to start with the negative in anything I do because that means I end on positive things and well, I seem to remember what I think about last more strongly then what comes first...)  There are three major things I hate about being international.

1. Lack of a common language.  I bought a tv this weekend.  I've been debating doing this for ages and after saving a while, I finally had the funds to do it.  I went to the store intent on spending no more than 2,000RMB.  That's just over $300.  It's not much, but I was hoping to get a good tv out of it.  I walked in the store and started looking around.  There wasn't much in my price range.  I was starting to get sad when a Chinese girl walked up to me.  She asked how big of a tv I wanted and I told I wanted small and cheap.  She led me over to a nice small tv that was only 2,100RMB...a little higher than I wanted, but I was willing to look.  She said this is a good tv and then kept talking.  I was lost.  I'm sure she was spouting off all the wonderful things about the tv, but I didn't understand much of what she said.  She finished and I asked in Chinese, "So this is a good tv, right?"  She said yes then kept talking...which I was lost again quickly.  1 hour, 4 Chinese people, multiple charades, some bad Chinese (on my part) ,some bad English (on their part), other entertaining issues, and only 1,700RMB later, I finally left with a TV.  I miss feeling like an intelligent person sometimes...I feel like I fumble and crash through everything that I have to do in Chinese.

2. Convenience.  America is SO convenient.  Almost everyone has a car, you can buy pre-made everything, and generally they try to make things as easy as possible.  Nothing is easy in China.  Here you have to circle the proverbial "bush" about 4 times and jump over massive hurdles to get things done.  Sometimes I just want to things to be easy, but I've really given up a lot of that desire while living here.

3. Lack of English books.  I'm sure you all know by now that I am an avid reader.  If I'm not in the middle of reading a book, I'm not happy.  I love reading almost more than anything else.  It's so hard here to walk into a bookstore here, smell those wonderful books, and see them lined up on the shelves and know that I can't read any of them...aside from maybe a handful of English classics...most of which I've already read.  Thankfully, this fairly easily combated with an awesome school library and a Kindle.  Have I ever told you guys how much I LOVE my Kindle?

Ok, so that's done with the negative.  So what things do I love about being international?

1. It's made me a better person.  Being international has taught me so many things.  It has taught me to be more sensitive to others, to be more patient, to learn new ways of doing things, and so much more.  I am a better, stronger person now for having been international.

2. It's made me appreciate America more.  America has problems.  Being international has showed me more of those problems than ever, but it has also taught me that every country has vices and virtues.  However, despite those problems, I have learned to appreciate so many things about America.  I appreciate freedom more, I appreciate convenience more, I appreciate other English speakers more, I appreciate American food more, and I appreciate my friends and family more.  I never realized how privileged I was until I left the country.  Thank you America for the amazing life I have.  And thank you to all who have ever sent me a box.  I cannot begin to describe to you the joy that comes with a box from America.  Ever pack of spices is cherished.  Every Reese's Peanut Butter Cup is savored.  Every....well, you get the point...Every little thing in that box reminds me that someone loves me and it reminds me of a place and a people that I love.

3. Walking.  Before I moved to China I was not a big fan of walking.  Now I love it.  It calms me.  It gives me time to think.  It's relaxing.  I love walking to the grocery store, buying groceries, and taking them home.  I love seeing the things and people around me rather than just focusing on street lights and the road.  I love walking along the ocean.

4. Riding the bus.  I have learned to love riding the public bus (when it isn't tourist season and I can actually still breath on the bus).  I love the slow plodding of the bus as it stops every few blocks.  I love watching the ocean fly by.  I love watching the people that get on and off.  I love wondering what each person's story is.  I love seeing friends on the bus.  I love meeting new people on the bus.

5. Fresh fruits and veggies.  I live on fresh fruits and vegetables.  The are delicious, cheap and so easy to get.  They are also seasonal which makes me appreciate them so much more.  In early spring I eat strawberries until I get sick.  In summer I eat pineapple, watermelon, and mangoes until I feel like I'll burst.  In fall, I get my fill of vitamin C eating pomelo after pomelo. I especially love the fruits that are different from or not available in America. 

6. Learning a new language.  Learning Chinese is the hardest thing I have ever done by far.  I often feel like an idiot when I study.  I often feel frustrated or sick and tired of trying.  Then something happens.  I go out into the community and start speaking Chinese and they understand me and I understand them.  It makes it all worth it.  I'm still miserable at speaking Chinese, but I won't give up because every time I feel triumphant in speaking, it gets me through a dozen more frustrations.  I can do this!

7. Interacting with the people. Chinese people are generally great people.  I love interacting with them and spending time with them.  I love how patient they are with my language mistakes and how willing they are to help.  Every one of my Chinese friends has become someone I cherish.  I'm so thankful for them.  I have also learned to respect the cultures of so many other people...even outside the Chinese.  I love that my friends are no longer just Americans.  They come from all kinds of countries, cultures, and backgrounds.

8. Missing the politics.  One of the most wonderful things about being international is that I am not involved very strongly in my country's politics.  I could be if I wanted, but I am very far removed from it and I don't constantly have to watch candidates beat and degrade each other verbally.  Huge perk.

9. I've learned life exists outside cable.  In America it is so easy to go home after a long day and get sucked into the TV.  I don't do that nearly so often here.  Cable isn't easily available and because of slow internet speed, I have to really want to watch something in order to be willing to watch it online.  I spend so much more time doing other things when there isn't a TV around.

10.  It's taught me to be more creative and think outside the box.  This especially applies to cooking.  Often recipes will call for a cream of something soup, sour cream, canned pumpkin, pre-made rolls, and many more things I can't get in China.  I have learned how to make so many things I would never have thought about making if I didn't live in China.    I've also used this skill a lot when trying to find things for my class.  I have to think creatively in order to do an activity in which I don't have access to all the materials.

So, overall, I'm going to say I appreciate what living overseas has done for me.  Thank you Father from bringing me here and please help me keep growing.

I Think I Finally Know

So, I realized when talking to a friend about six months ago that I had no idea what my love language was.  Most of the reason is because I didn't really know how to accept love...I didn't think I was worthy of it...Well, I'm working on that issue in my life and I've been thinking a lot about what my love language might be.  I think I finally figured it out.
Physical Touch - I LOVE being hugged, holding hands, cuddling, a pat on the shoulder, a hand on the arm.  I love being touched.  It makes me feel loved.
Affirmation - So, I'm still slightly uncomfortable with words of affirmation, but I love hearing that I did a good job.  You don't have to overdue it...just tell me thank you or you appreciate me.  That's it.  That's all it takes and I feel LOVED!
So there you go.  I'm pretty sure this is how I feel loved.  Now, I just have to work on the not being uncomfortable being loved. 
By the way, I appreciate you guys.  I totally want to give you a hug too! :)

Friendship

This last week has been hard.  At the beginning of this week (really the end of last week) I felt like I was being crushed by my problems.  Every issue was so big and I was too weak to keep from being crushed.  My heart cried out to my father and he sent me FRIENDS! 
My friends have been so good to me this week.  Every person I have talked to about my problems has come to my aide and helped make the problem just a little easier to bear.  I have been blessed and blessed and blessed until I realized that I was no longer being crushed.  The problems are still there and they are still weighty, but many hands make light loads.  I thank you all so much for being my friends and for helping me through this time.  I will continue to lean on you until my problems are gone...and then maybe someday I can be there for you too.

Getting Settled in a New House

     I don't know if you have ever moved before (chances are you have), but I have moved more times than I really want to think about (ick).  In America when you are picking a new home, many thoughts may pop in your head when you walk into a house on the market.  Some of them may be "This place is SO clean!  Are there any stains in this place?  Did anyone actually live here before?  My kids could destroy this place in five minutes."  In America when a home goes on the market, a lot of time is spent cleaning the house and replacing things that we didn't bother to even replace when we lived there.  We want the house to "put its best foot forward" in hopes that people will buy/rent it.
     A slightly different view is taken here in China.  In fact, the opposite view.  Chinese homes give more of a feel of "Take me as I am." or "Please help me!  The last family tortured me!"  The floors are covered in dirt, the kitchen is greasy, people leave stuff behind, the furniture is often broken or stained...well, you get the idea. 
    So, needless to say, when I picked a new home to move into, a lot of work was put into it.  First, the school paid an ayi (a house helper) to do some initial deep cleaning.  Second, I moved in and had no time to clean even though I wanted to.  Third, my ayi spent time during the summer cleaning up even more.  Fourth, I get sick of the grime, stickers, etc. still left in random places and initiate my own cleaning spree.  It's such a nice feeling to watch my home come together a little more as I continue to find places for my things to live and as the house gets cleaner and cleaner (mostly due to my ayi's hard work).
    On a slightly different note (but still all about my new house) I am currently using my washing machine for the first time.  I have to be honest that I haven't tried before this point because I am or rather was terrified of my new washing machine.  Ok, so let me explain.  This washing machine came with the usual amount of trepidation because there is only Chinese characters on the machine.  Seeing as how my Chinese is still stunningly bad after 4 years, I honestly usually just push buttons until the water starts running and then call it good.  Well, this machine has two added points of confusion.  First, the water doesn't come from a handy washing machine hook-up in the wall.  The hose is actually screwed to the tub faucet in my bathroom (guess who has to use the shower head to fill the tub if she wants a bath...) and secondly, the drainage hose (which is usually normally somewhat hidden from view) has to cross the bathroom to fit into a drain in the floor (luckily they didn't also decide to use the bath drain as a washing machine drain (that could have been very bad...)  Honestly though, I'm not sure what the owner was thinking when they set this machine up, but today I decided to overcome my fear. 
     So, I shoved the hose in the drain in the floor (note to self: don't trip over that), switched my shower to come out of the faucet , turned the water on, turned the machine on (water was coming out!  yay!), put soap in the washing machine, filled it with clothes, closed the lid, and started to pray.  I kept anxiously popping into the bathroom for the next hour or however long it was to make sure nothing exploded or overflowed.  And I have to say that all went very well.  My clothes are now sitting on the drying rack in my living room (it's too humid for them to dry on the porch.  Did I mention that it's been 90-100% humidity almost every day during the summer?  My clothes get musty before they dry out there.) and I'm on my second load of laundry.  I feel so accomplished!  (And I'm choosing not to tell you about a few days ago when I incorrectly turned on my hot water heater and sprayed water all over the bathroom.  Who knew that button would do that?  Or am I the only one stupid enough to do that?  Ummm...definitely not mentioning that embarrassing mistake to anyone.)  Now the next big question is do I keep accomplishing things or do I reward myself with a nap?  Mmmm....super hard question.  I might have to continue to debate this while lying on my comfy couch.