30 Things You Should Know About Me

Warning: This post is full of things that I think you should know about me.  The last couple are very personal.  I am comfortable sharing them with you, but I don’t know if you are comfortable hearing them…yet.  For that reason, I put the less personal things at the top and the most personal things at the bottom.  If you read something that makes you uncomfortable, stop.  It’s only going to get more personal from there.

1.     I’m an introvert who loves people.  I love to be with people.  Before college I was extremely shy and hardly ever spoke to anyone.  I met friends in college who taught me how to love people and I’ve swung to the other side.  I like to talk to people a lot now, but I often burn myself out.  I may hang out with you every day one week and not at all the next.  Nothing personal.  Just catching my “introverted” breath.

2.     I love being alone.  I am very happy with my own company.

3.     I love to listen.  I would rather listen than talk any day.  Sometimes I’ll go a whole conversation without saying anything.  It doesn’t mean I’m bored, it just means I’m listening and thinking.

4.     I’m a thinker.  I never do anything without thinking it through thoroughly first.  I’ll usually mull things over for days, weeks, or sometimes longer before I am willing to talk about them, confront them, or do them.

5.     I’m a gold.  Since I started working in China our school has taken this personality test called “True Colors” a few times.  My true color is gold.  That means that I’m very organized.  I usually have a plan and I’m the person you can count on to get something done.  I dislike nothing more than someone who doesn’t “have all their ducks in a row” especially when I’m working with or for them.

6.     I love adventure, but I have a weird definition of adventure.  Adventure in my book is not going on a hike, exploring an exotic place, or getting lost in a foreign city.  Adventure is anything that takes me out of my comfort zone.  Adventure can be speaking in Chinese to someone on the phone.  Adventure can be throwing my day’s lesson plans out the window and doing something different.  Adventure can be singing in front of people.

7.     I’m extremely easy to please.  If I tell you I don’t care or it doesn’t matter I’m not trying to be a pain in your butt.  I promise if I have an opinion I will let you know, but usually I’m most happy observing how things unfold.  Usually, I don’t want to know the outcome of something before it happens.

8.     My favorite thing in the world to do is read.  I have loved reading since the 3^rd grade and I’m not happy unless there is a book somewhere nearby.  I ALWAYS have a book in my purse…no matter where I’m going or what I’m doing.  I really struggle leaving my book at home when I’m just walking over to a friend’s house to hang out.

9.     I love a good science fiction or fantasy book or film.  Yes, I’m a bit of a nerd and proud of it.

10. I’m a massive klutz.  There isn’t really any hope for me.  I can trip or fall over anything…but most often it’s cracks in the sidewalk or my own feet. Luckily, I catch myself about 95% of the time so I’m only covered in bruises, scrapes, etc. a small portion of the time.

11. I always feel hot.  I have tried twice to wear a winter coat, but it didn’t last  long either time…maybe about 5 minutes.  I’ve been in -17F weather before and I still couldn’t bring myself to put on a winter coat.  I would rather be cold than hot any day.  Some of my friends have nicknamed me “The Human Radiator” and one of my girlfriends likes to “snuggle” with me as we walk down the street in winter because she is cold.  By the end of those experiences she has usually stopped shivering and I’ve either unbuttoned/unzipped my light coat or taken it off entirely.

12. I can sing pretty well.  I have been told many times that I have a beautiful voice, but chances are that you will never hear me sing.  I’m too shy to do it in front of people.  I sing when I’m alone, to my class, and in church.  So unless you catch me singing with I think I’m alone (has happened), are one of my students (had about 40 of those so far, but never over the age of 9), or stand next to me in church (that’s your best chance), you will probably never hear me sing.

13. I hate surprises.  Especially surprise parties.  If you want to throw me a surprise party, tell me you are planning a party, but I can’t know the details.  I’m fine with that, but I don’t like being caught off guard.  I like to know about things in advance and plan for them.

14. I’m usually happy and if I’m not happy I’m usually content.  If I don’t feel content or happy I do my best to change a situation so that I do feel happy and content.

15. I very rarely get mad.  Oh, I get frustrated fairly often (being a teacher will do that to you), but I don’t usually get mad.  And if you get me mad, I don’t yell.  I get stubborn, pig-headed, and silent, but I don’t yell. 

16. I love to cook.  If I don’t like something the first time I make it or I don’t like the process, I won’t make it again.  Cooking is a huge de-stressor for me.

17. If I wasn’t a teacher I would like to be an editor.  I love reading people’s papers, books, documents and editing them.  Incorrect spelling drives me crazy and if I don’t know how to spell a word I won’t use it.  It especially drives my nuts when people spell words wrong in emails and letters. 

18. I love music. I listen to almost every kind of music, but what I’m listening to usually reflects my mood.  For example: Pop and/or Christian music means I’m in a good/content mood.  Soundtracks or other music without words means I need time alone (unless someone is over, then it is probably just background music).  Heavy metal means I’m mad.  Watch out!  Music like Evanescence means I’m depressed.  Etc.  Luckily I don’t listen to heavy metal or Evanescence very often.

19. I adore my brother.  My brother and I have been best friends since before I can remember.  I see his flaws, but I have met few people I respect and adore as much as him.  If I tell you that you remind me of my brother, it’s probably the highest compliment I could pay you.

20. I drink alcohol.  I don’t drink very often, but occasionally I’ll have a drink.  I like the way cocktails taste.  I have made a vow never to drink more than two or three drinks.  I hate being drunk and my father is an alcoholic.  I don’t want to get caught in that trap. Just thought you should know.

21. I’m not very romantic.  In fact, I refuse to read romance novels and a chick flick better be pretty good for me to like it.  I can’t honestly say if I like a guy being romantic….I’ve never really dated a guy who is romantic.

22. I hate talking on the phone.  I would rather text any day, but I’ll call you if I need an immediate answer or explaining what I want/need in a text is just too difficult.

23. I don’t cry.  If I’m crying then either someone has died or my world is falling apart.  If you ever see me cry, it means I am extremely comfortable with you or I’m at a point where I just can’t control my emotions any more.

24. My dream job is wife and mother.  Since I was eleven years old I have been dreaming about what it would be like to by married and have a family.  I believe that God will some day allow me to have that dream, but He hasn’t brought that guy yet.  And I don’t plan to sit around and being sad about it.  I would rather follow Him on an adventure any day.

25.  I have done from crazy things (at least by my standard) at the prompting of the Father.  If He asked me today, I would leave all I love behind and follow Him to the ends of the Earth…again.  I’ve come to the conclusion that He really is all I need.  I have a tattoo of a dandelion on my left shoulder (my favorite flower) and the words “Beloved One” next to the stem of the flower to remind me that God is taking care of me every moment of every day.  Matthew 6:25-34

26.  I don’t know how to flirt.  Guys don’t worry.  If I’m treating you really super nice it’s because I like being your friend.  If I start acting like a spastic idiot I probably want to be more than your friend.  Thank God there aren’t many guys in China cause looking like a spastic idiot doesn’t need to be a full time occupation.

27. I can be kind of dense.  I don’t pick up on “subtle hints” very well.  I can usually pick up on emotions, but I think a guy flirting with me is just a guy being nice or a friend trying to hint for me to leave…I completely miss it.  It’s usually best to just tell me what is going on.  I like people who are blunt.

28.   My love language is well…I’m not sure.  I think my love language is service.  If I’m serving you, it is my way of showing my love for you.  And honestly, I try to serve everyone I know…especially children.  I really want to be known for my love.  I think I accept love through quality time with people and physical touch, but I’m really specific about how people touch me.

29. I don’t know how to accept love.  I’m learning how to accept love (it’s a long and painful process…read the next thing for more info), but I’m really bad at it.  Please just be patient with me.  Again, usually the best way to show me your love is telling me outright that you love me, by wanting to be with me, or the occasional hug.

30. I’m broken.  My father is a verbally abusive alcoholic...but saying that doesn’t even begin to explain how bad living with his was.  Because of things he did and said when I was growing up and things he says and does even now, I am completely broken.  I struggle with low self-confidence.  I don’t know how to let others love me.  I have a wall around my broken heart a mile thick…I can’t bear for anyone to break my heart any more.  If/When God brings me a husband, he will have to be a very patient man.  My heart screams at me to back out of any kind of relationship before I get hurt.  So, dear friends, if I ever start running away…please pursue me.  Let me know you love me, value me, and want me around.  That’s the greatest way you can show me your love.  And you might have to do it a lot.  God does it every single day and I still struggle to believe Him…and I don’t know how I could make it through a day without Him. (If you want to know more on this topic please ask.  Chances are I will probably talk about it.  I realized lately that I don’t have to be ashamed of it.  Why do kids of abusive parent’s think it’s their fault?  This is something I desperately need to talk about, but don’t know how to bring up.  Talk about a real conversation stopper.)

When Cultures Intersect

One of my favorite things about living in China and working at my school is our staff.  Though most of us are American, we all together come from at least seven different countries.  When I first moved to China, I thought the intermixing of these cultures would be stressful, but I have never found that to actually be the case.  I have learned so much from so many different people.

I have learned how to enjoy a proper scone and Australian football from my Aussie friends. 
I have learned how to enjoy a perfect cup of tea and how to say "brilliant" British words like "cheers" from my South African friends. 
I have learned how to appreciate good, spicy food and learned how to respect others from my Korean friends. 
I have learned how amazing Indian food is and how to properly eat it from my Indian friends. 
I have learned that Christmas music is acceptable in any of the -ber months and how to properly eat a mango (and how to say it) from my Filipino friends. 
I have learned about places in the US I have never been to, things I have never seen, and food I have never eaten from my American friends. 
I have learned to survive and thrive in China because of my Chinese friends.  
From my students and some of our staff, I have learned about the TCK culture.  (TCK's are Third Culture Kids.  Kids that grew up outside their home countries.) 

I cannot tell you honestly that every moment in China has been wonderful or even good, but I will tell you this.  I love my job and I love the people I get to work with even more.  They have opened my eyes to the world and how it works.  I can no longer imagine where I would be without them.
Thanks for being my multicultural friends.

An Introvert's Perfect Day

Yesterday was the perfect day.  What did I do?  Well, I slept in.  I took a long hot shower (even though it's insanely hot out).  I rode the bus into town and got a seat right away.  I walked to our local mall (Marina City).  I saw Harry Potter in the theaters all by myself.  I had ate McDonalds for lunch, Indian for dinner, and apple dumplings (oh my word! so good!) for dessert.  I held my "nephew" for almost an hour and he didn't cry (summer was too long for a 8 month old to remember his doting "Auntie Amy").  I spent time with my QD family.  And the best part of the day was that I spoke to less than 20 people all day...and most of them I spoke to for less than 5 minutes.  I know my extroverted friends don't understand it, but in my opinion there is nothing better than being alone...at least up to a certain point.
Now today...today was the perfect companion to "an introvert's perfect day."  Today I was a social butterfly and truly enjoyed those I spent time with.  I can't wait until I get to experience "the introvert's perfect day" part 1 and 2 again.  :)

Brand New

The last week has been so many different things.  It has been hard, fun, exhausting, and exciting.  It has been a mix of the brand new and the comfortable, but mostly it has just been all about the brand new.  I am a person who thrives on routine.  I like things that are comfortable and familiar and every once in a while I like a splash of color and adventure in my life.  This week was hard for me because there was a splash of routine and everything else was brand new.
During the past week, I got a new roommate, got a new Teaching Assistant (TA), got a new class, and started a new school year.  Literally everywhere I turn is something new and it has been a little overwhelming.  I have tried to take the time to get to know my roommate and my TA but there hasn't been much time.  I have already fallen in love with my new class, but I haven't quite figured out what makes them tick yet. 
I am excited about this year, but just for now, I'm going to take today and go do something oh so achingly familiar.  I'm going to chill in Starbucks all morning long and then spend my afternoon with "my family" that I have adopted here in China.  I'm so excited to have a day full of comfortable. :)

On Cat Litter and Chinese Sized Brooms

This morning I gave back the cat I have been watching for the last two weeks.  As soon as her owner walked out the door I broke into a chorus of "Free at Last."  The last two weeks have been great fun, but it's exhausting having a cat around who likes to wake you up in the middle of the night wanting to play or nibble on various pieces of anatomy not lucky enough to be under the sheets (my poor nose, chin, and ears for the worst of it).  I'm looking to a full night's sleep again. :)
Also as soon as the cat vacated I decided to clean up my house.  I've had cats living in my home most of my life and it never ceases to amaze me that cats are capable of getting their cat litter everywhere!  I swear that the cat had a 15-20 foot radius going on this litter.  Then again, she was insane.  So, because stepping on cat litter all day just seems insanely gross to me, I pulled out my broom to sweep it up. 
In America, I actually really enjoy sweeping.  It's kind of a feeling of "Haha sucker!" when you sweep up all that offending dust.  However in China, I avoid sweeping and usually leave it to my ayi.  Why do I do that?  Well, the reason is very simple.  I have never seen a broom in China that exceeds about 2.5 to 3 feet tall.  It's like the midget broom you hand your kid when you want them to help with the chores but don't want them to fall over cause the normal-person sized broom is too heavy.  It's something you see in the store and say "Ah, that is so cute!" with no intention whatsoever of ever buying anything so ridiculous. 
Why are brooms so short in China you ask?  Other than the fact that I am as tall as most of the men here (I'm 5'5") and all the women are usually a head or more shorter than me, I have no idea.  I've never seen a midget sized Chinese person and I love to have my brooms almost as tall as me...at least to my shoulder....my ayi also has to bend over to use my broom...though not quite so far.  I simply don't get it.  Maybe brooms are short for the same reason that the counters hit my upper thighs (let me tell you...leaky sinks are a bad thing...it looks like you wet yourself)...I always pull a chair up to my counter if I have lots of dishes to do so that my back doesn't mutiny and decide to leave me some day for all the abuse I have caused it.
Needless to say, I got only half my house swept before I gave up on the midget broom.  My back was making threatening comments about packing it's bags.  So, no dust death in the other half of my house for now.  It can live in peace for just a bit longer.  At least the cat litter radius has been terminated. ;)

Transitions and Loved Ones Missed...

Yesterday at teacher orientation we had a short session about transitions.  When I saw it on the schedule, my first thought was "Oh, this is for the new staff.  I can tune it out."  I turned out to be very wrong.  The session had already been presented to our new staff about a month before at pre-field orientation.  This session was for the staff who had already been here...the ones who were getting somewhat comfortable in China.
Our speaker, Jerry, started talking about the things that still bothered us.  The crowded buses, the tourists, the language.  He talked about the things we do to protect ourselves from the pain of those transitions.  Then he started to talk about other transitions.  Life's transitions.  Old friends leaving and new people coming.  Teaching new subjects.  Losing a loved one.
If Jerry didn't have our attention before, he had our attention then.  He was talking about losing a student, Tim, in a tragic accident last year.  He told us how impressed the community was by how we had pulled together and shined through the loss of Tim.  And suddenly, after being fine with Tim being gone for days, suddenly I wasn't again.  The pain came rushing back.  What does one do with the pain of grief?  When does it get better?
There will be days when I think it's ok.  I've gotten over it.  And then other days when someone just says his name and I burst into tears.  There are many days when I see his family and you can tell it still hurts them so much.  So, my dear friends, please continue to think of us.  Please don't forget that we are mourning right now.  None of us is quite sure how to continue without time and none of us is quite ready for this school year because the pain is still too raw.
Please pray for us.  We need every ounce of grace we can get.  This transition still hurts so much.

Such a Great Weekend

This last weekend was so very full and so very fun.  On Saturday morning I joined a rather large group that went to TaiDong.  TaiDong is an absolutely huge shopping area.  It's had to explain to someone who hasn't seen it or been in China.  It's blocks and blocks wide and you can get anything you can imagine there.  There are whole streets dedicated to selling specific merchandise, there is a Wal-mart, tailors, food, and more.  On Saturday some friends and I went to kitchen street and plant street.  Since I've been here for three full years now, I view TaiDong like a job.  It's a get in, get what you need, get out kind of place.  This Saturday however, we took our new staff with us.  Being with them was like seeing the whole area through new eyes.  I started looking again.  I saw things I have never seen before.  I went into stores that I had never cared enough to go into and I realized I was missing a lot.  It was fun.  It was also very hot and we had some very heavy stuff.  Thank God that our principal was willing to drive us out in the school's van.  We would never have fit everything in a taxi. :)
That night I had my upstairs neighbors over for dinner and later more friends came over and we watched an episode of Psych and demolished most of a pan of Monkey Bread. (YUM!)  I may have also gotten sucked into a book after they left that I had to finish and finally did around midnight.
Sunday felt almost as full as Saturday.  We went to fellowship in the morning where I heard one of the best message I've heard in ages...It's still turning over and over in my brain and I think it will for quite a while.  (I may share it with you later if you don't mind.)  After fellowship it was off to lunch, to the grocery store, chilling at Starbucks for a little while, then over to a friend's house to watch the Godfather. 
I've never seen the Godfather before, but it's such a well known movie that I felt like I should.  I have to honestly say that I'm glad I watched it, but I didn't like it enough to ever watch it again.  Some friends and I ditched after the first movie (they were starting the second) and went back to our side of town and watched the first Harry Potter together.  That I enjoyed...especially since my friend has the most amazing couch and I was falling asleep under a warm blanket while watching a well loved movie.  The end of the day couldn't have been any better. 
So dear friends, my weekend was full of new friends, new perspectives, a kick-butt (at least it is kicking my butt) lesson from my Father, and fun times with good friends.  It couldn't have been better, but now the introvert in me is screaming for some time alone so I'm going to be lazy this morning.  I'll go back to social butterfly this afternoon.  After all...summer is over for us teachers on Thursday...but that means the fun is just beginning! :)