Whispers of Love

The last two weeks have been a series of strange contradictions. 
On one had, I feel defeated and crushed...The enemy is fighting what Abba is doing in my life like he has never fought anything before.  I am not sleeping, I am having nightmares, I am constantly fighting bad moods, I've been dealing with unexplainable pain.  I'm a mess.
On the other hand (which thankful trumps all the bad) I have seen Abba do so many amazing things the last two weeks.  This has happened in many ways. 
I've found that part of my healing is telling others what I'm going through...and blogging about it.  This goes against my nature as an extremely private person, but I have been blessed because of it.  It seems that almost every time I tell someone, Abba blesses me.  It might be through the words of the person I am talking to.  I have heard him speak through others so many times the last two weeks and I know it is him because it's exactly what I needed to hear in that moment.  It might be in a hug or some other touch.  I had forgotten how much I love being hugged/touched...when did I bury that need?  Other people have been essential to what is happening in my heart. 
The other way Abba has been doing amazing things is through books.  You all know that I am an avid reader.  I'm not happy unless there is reading material within reach.  It seems that Abba keeps using the words in his book as well as the words of others in their books to remind me of his love for me.  Over and over he keeps telling me how precious I am to him, how much he loves me, how much he wants to be with me, how he wants me to desire him and rely on him.  And I have to tell you, he is wooing me in a way I have never experienced before.  I am falling head over heals for my Abba.  He is leading me through this pain so that he can spend the rest of eternity showing me how much he loves me.  How can I not be falling in love?  I find myself constantly seeking to love and security of my Abba's arms. 
Now, you may be asking yourself, what does this have to do with forgiving her father?  The answer is so very much.  I am being taught what love is by the one who created it.  By the one who is love.  He is melting my heart with love so that I can be set free by that love and so that I can someday, somehow turn that back around and share it with my father.  How am I going to do that?  I have no idea.  I'll let you know when he tells me...but I'm pretty sure it is going to hurt, but I am quickly discovering that freedom and love are worth it.
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of his Son. - Phil. 1:6