Warning: This post is full of things that I think you should know about me. The last couple are very personal. I am comfortable sharing them with you, but I don’t know if you are comfortable hearing them…yet. For that reason, I put the less personal things at the top and the most personal things at the bottom. If you read something that makes you uncomfortable, stop. It’s only going to get more personal from there.
1. I’m an introvert who loves people. I love to be with people. Before college I was extremely shy and hardly ever spoke to anyone. I met friends in college who taught me how to love people and I’ve swung to the other side. I like to talk to people a lot now, but I often burn myself out. I may hang out with you every day one week and not at all the next. Nothing personal. Just catching my “introverted” breath.
2. I love being alone. I am very happy with my own company.
3. I love to listen. I would rather listen than talk any day. Sometimes I’ll go a whole conversation without saying anything. It doesn’t mean I’m bored, it just means I’m listening and thinking.
4. I’m a thinker. I never do anything without thinking it through thoroughly first. I’ll usually mull things over for days, weeks, or sometimes longer before I am willing to talk about them, confront them, or do them.
5. I’m a gold. Since I started working in China our school has taken this personality test called “True Colors” a few times. My true color is gold. That means that I’m very organized. I usually have a plan and I’m the person you can count on to get something done. I dislike nothing more than someone who doesn’t “have all their ducks in a row” especially when I’m working with or for them.
6. I love adventure, but I have a weird definition of adventure. Adventure in my book is not going on a hike, exploring an exotic place, or getting lost in a foreign city. Adventure is anything that takes me out of my comfort zone. Adventure can be speaking in Chinese to someone on the phone. Adventure can be throwing my day’s lesson plans out the window and doing something different. Adventure can be singing in front of people.
7. I’m extremely easy to please. If I tell you I don’t care or it doesn’t matter I’m not trying to be a pain in your butt. I promise if I have an opinion I will let you know, but usually I’m most happy observing how things unfold. Usually, I don’t want to know the outcome of something before it happens.
8. My favorite thing in the world to do is read. I have loved reading since the 3rd grade and I’m not happy unless there is a book somewhere nearby. I ALWAYS have a book in my purse…no matter where I’m going or what I’m doing. I really struggle leaving my book at home when I’m just walking over to a friend’s house to hang out.
9. I love a good science fiction or fantasy book or film. Yes, I’m a bit of a nerd and proud of it.
10. I’m a massive klutz. There isn’t really any hope for me. I can trip or fall over anything…but most often it’s cracks in the sidewalk or my own feet. Luckily, I catch myself about 95% of the time so I’m only covered in bruises, scrapes, etc. a small portion of the time.
11. I always feel hot. I have tried twice to wear a winter coat, but it didn’t last long either time…maybe about 5 minutes. I’ve been in -17F weather before and I still couldn’t bring myself to put on a winter coat. I would rather be cold than hot any day. Some of my friends have nicknamed me “The Human Radiator” and one of my girlfriends likes to “snuggle” with me as we walk down the street in winter because she is cold. By the end of those experiences she has usually stopped shivering and I’ve either unbuttoned/unzipped my light coat or taken it off entirely.
12. I can sing pretty well. I have been told many times that I have a beautiful voice, but chances are that you will never hear me sing. I’m too shy to do it in front of people. I sing when I’m alone, to my class, and in church. So unless you catch me singing with I think I’m alone (has happened), are one of my students (had about 40 of those so far, but never over the age of 9), or stand next to me in church (that’s your best chance), you will probably never hear me sing.
13. I hate surprises. Especially surprise parties. If you want to throw me a surprise party, tell me you are planning a party, but I can’t know the details. I’m fine with that, but I don’t like being caught off guard. I like to know about things in advance and plan for them.
14. I’m usually happy and if I’m not happy I’m usually content. If I don’t feel content or happy I do my best to change a situation so that I do feel happy and content.
15. I very rarely get mad. Oh, I get frustrated fairly often (being a teacher will do that to you), but I don’t usually get mad. And if you get me mad, I don’t yell. I get stubborn, pig-headed, and silent, but I don’t yell.
16. I love to cook. If I don’t like something the first time I make it or I don’t like the process, I won’t make it again. Cooking is a huge de-stressor for me.
17. If I wasn’t a teacher I would like to be an editor. I love reading people’s papers, books, documents and editing them. Incorrect spelling drives me crazy and if I don’t know how to spell a word I won’t use it. It especially drives my nuts when people spell words wrong in emails and letters.
18. I love music. I listen to almost every kind of music, but what I’m listening to usually reflects my mood. For example: Pop and/or Christian music means I’m in a good/content mood. Soundtracks or other music without words means I need time alone (unless someone is over, then it is probably just background music). Heavy metal means I’m mad. Watch out! Music like Evanescence means I’m depressed. Etc. Luckily I don’t listen to heavy metal or Evanescence very often.
19. I adore my brother. My brother and I have been best friends since before I can remember. I see his flaws, but I have met few people I respect and adore as much as him. If I tell you that you remind me of my brother, it’s probably the highest compliment I could pay you.
20. I drink alcohol. I don’t drink very often, but occasionally I’ll have a drink. I like the way cocktails taste. I have made a vow never to drink more than two or three drinks. I hate being drunk and my father is an alcoholic. I don’t want to get caught in that trap. Just thought you should know.
21. I’m not very romantic. In fact, I refuse to read romance novels and a chick flick better be pretty good for me to like it. I can’t honestly say if I like a guy being romantic….I’ve never really dated a guy who is romantic.
22. I hate talking on the phone. I would rather text any day, but I’ll call you if I need an immediate answer or explaining what I want/need in a text is just too difficult.
23. I don’t cry. If I’m crying then either someone has died or my world is falling apart. If you ever see me cry, it means I am extremely comfortable with you or I’m at a point where I just can’t control my emotions any more.
24. My dream job is wife and mother. Since I was eleven years old I have been dreaming about what it would be like to by married and have a family. I believe that God will some day allow me to have that dream, but He hasn’t brought that guy yet. And I don’t plan to sit around and being sad about it. I would rather follow Him on an adventure any day.
25. I have done from crazy things (at least by my standard) at the prompting of the Father. If He asked me today, I would leave all I love behind and follow Him to the ends of the Earth…again. I’ve come to the conclusion that He really is all I need. I have a tattoo of a dandelion on my left shoulder (my favorite flower) and the words “Beloved One” next to the stem of the flower to remind me that God is taking care of me every moment of every day. Matthew 6:25-34
26. I don’t know how to flirt. Guys don’t worry. If I’m treating you really super nice it’s because I like being your friend. If I start acting like a spastic idiot I probably want to be more than your friend. Thank God there aren’t many guys in China cause looking like a spastic idiot doesn’t need to be a full time occupation.
27. I can be kind of dense. I don’t pick up on “subtle hints” very well. I can usually pick up on emotions, but I think a guy flirting with me is just a guy being nice or a friend trying to hint for me to leave…I completely miss it. It’s usually best to just tell me what is going on. I like people who are blunt.
28. My love language is well…I’m not sure. I think my love language is service. If I’m serving you, it is my way of showing my love for you. And honestly, I try to serve everyone I know…especially children. I really want to be known for my love. I think I accept love through quality time with people and physical touch, but I’m really specific about how people touch me.
29. I don’t know how to accept love. I’m learning how to accept love (it’s a long and painful process…read the next thing for more info), but I’m really bad at it. Please just be patient with me. Again, usually the best way to show me your love is telling me outright that you love me, by wanting to be with me, or the occasional hug.
30. I’m broken. My father is a verbally abusive alcoholic...but saying that doesn’t even begin to explain how bad living with his was. Because of things he did and said when I was growing up and things he says and does even now, I am completely broken. I struggle with low self-confidence. I don’t know how to let others love me. I have a wall around my broken heart a mile thick…I can’t bear for anyone to break my heart any more. If/When God brings me a husband, he will have to be a very patient man. My heart screams at me to back out of any kind of relationship before I get hurt. So, dear friends, if I ever start running away…please pursue me. Let me know you love me, value me, and want me around. That’s the greatest way you can show me your love. And you might have to do it a lot. God does it every single day and I still struggle to believe Him…and I don’t know how I could make it through a day without Him. (If you want to know more on this topic please ask. Chances are I will probably talk about it. I realized lately that I don’t have to be ashamed of it. Why do kids of abusive parent’s think it’s their fault? This is something I desperately need to talk about, but don’t know how to bring up. Talk about a real conversation stopper.)
I love you and am so privileged to know you as well as I do. Missing you terribly!
ReplyDelete