The Hardest Part About Being In America

Everyone always gets so excited when I'm coming to America.  They are so excited that I am coming "home."  I tell people often that my home is in China.  I do love America though.  However, it is very hard for me to be here in America.  There are several things that are hard...culture shock (yes, I have culture shock in America) and being away from China are both very hard for me, but the hardest thing is that most people don't really know how to relate to me anymore.  

I live in a foreign country and it has changed me so much.  When I come to America that makes me and my life foreign and weird to people in America.  People don't really know what to do or say or ask about.  This is compounded by the fact that I really struggle talking about myself.  I love it when people ask questions.  (If you need some ideas for questions to ask, I've written a bunch at the bottom of the post...just to get you going.)  I know that if you haven't been to China it is hard to understand my life, my passion for it, and well anything about it.  However, PLEASE ask anyway.  It makes me feel loved when you want to know and when you listen to what I have to say.  Honestly, nothing hurts more than visiting with someone who  never or very rarely asks me what my life is like.  It feels like you don't care about me or my life...even though I know you don't intend it that way.

So, my wonderful America friends, please help me combat my homesickness by asking me about the place I love so much.  It will help me feel better and hopefully you'll understand a little bit of my love for China and my life there because of it.  And just so you know, I would LOVE to have some of you come visit me someday.  Thank you so much to those of you who already have.

Questions you can ask me about China...

Please don’t ask:

·      So how’s China?

·      So what’s China like?

o   I have NO idea how to answer these questions.  Can you be more specific?  And please listen and respond if you ask a question.  I really want you to understand and I really want to share my life with you.

Please try:

·      About China

o   What are the Chinese people like?

o   What is the coolest thing about living in China?

o   What is the hardest thing about living in China?

o   What is it like to go shopping?

o   What is it like to go grocery shopping?

o   How do you get around?

o   How do you pay your bills?

o   What kinds of fruits and vegetables do you eat in China that you didn’t eat in America?

o   Where do you live in China? How big is your city?

o   Do you like living on the coast?

o   What is the weather like?

o   Does your city have bad pollution?

·      About School

o   Tell me about your school?

o   What is your class/classroom like?

o   What are the people you work with like?

o   What is it like to work with TCK’s? (Or what is a TCK?)

o   What nationalities have you taught?

o   Do you teach in English?  What is the curriculum like?

o   What is the best thing that happened in the class this year?

o   What was the hardest thing that happened in your class this year?

o   What is your favorite subject to teach?

o   What is your least favorite subject to teach?

·      About travel

o   What places have you traveled to? 

o   What is your favorite place you have been?

o   Have you been to the Great Wall, Xi’an, etc.?

o   What is your favorite activity you did on a vacation since moving to China?

·      Learning Chinese

o   Can you say something in Chinese for me?

o   Is learning Chinese hard?

o   How often do you study Chinese?

o   Are you fluent?

o   Can you read Chinese characters?

·      About Living in China

o   How long do you plan to stay in China?

o   How do you know God wants you in China?

o   Is it hard to live in China?

o   Is home in America or China?

o   What do you miss about America?  What do you not miss about America?

o   What are you missing about China? What are you not missing about China?

o   What is wonderful about visiting America?  What is hard about visiting America?

o   What is the best thing that has happened to you since you moved to China?

o   What is the hardest thing that has happened to you since you moved to China?

o   What is your apartment like?  Do you have roommates?

o   Tell me about your friends?

o   What do you do for fun?

o   What is your favorite thing to eat?  Have you eaten anything weird?

o   Why do you want to keep living in China?

·      Keeping in touch

o   How can I pray for you? 

o   Can we stay in contact? 

o   Will you keep me updated on your life? 

On My Roommate

This time last year I had a horrible attitude about roommates.  I had just found out that I wasn't getting a single apartment and I was stuck with a new girl coming to teach high school English.  I even got mad at God because I wanted to be alone so much.  What didn't expect to get was the world's best roommate.  At least, the best roommate I have ever had.
It didn't take long after she got here to get over my bad attitude.  She was just so sweet, kind, helpful, and easy to live with.  As the months went by we developed a deeper and deeper friendship and I became increasingly more thankful for her.  I began to anticipate living together for many, many years.
But God changed my plans.  In March we found out that she would not be coming back to our school next year, but would instead be moving to another city in China because of visa problems.  I have never been so sad to lose a roommate.  I was losing not only a roommate, but a sister and friend.
Tonight is our last night as roommate and I will miss her so much.  I have my own apartment now, but I wish we could go back to our apartment and live there for a few more years.  However, all God's plans work together for good and I'm sure I'll see the good in this some day.
So, to the best roommate ever:
Thank you for...
-Laughter
-Friendship
-Making food with me
-Having friends over
-Eating my food
-Being a sister I never fought with
-Washing dishes together
-Grading together
-Watching movies together
 -Being my diving buddy
-Long talks
-Huge parties
-Taking care of me
-Letting me take care of you
-Listening to me rant
-Trips to the grocery store
-Taxi rides
-Spending time with me when you needed to do stuff for school
-So much, much more.
My dear friend.  I will miss you so very much.  I can't wait to see you again.  Thank you for being such a wonderful roommate, sister, and friend.

On Saying Goodbye

As I have written blogs this year, I have said more than once that one of the things I love about working here is that I have been adopted into a fantastic family.  I have never felt so loved in my life as I do here in this place with these people.  But, the bad thing about my fantastic family is that it is always in flux.  The last few weeks I have been grieving.  I have been grieving because I am losing some very close "family members".  I am losing wonderful friends.  I am losing great students.
Saying goodbye in the international community isn't like saying goodbye in America.  In America there is the knowledge that you can probably visit your friend fairly easily.  In the international community, goodbye often means forever.  Every year I cry for the students that have touched my life and made it better.  Every year I cry for the friends returning to their home countries or on to another city or country.  Chances are I will never see most of these people again on this earth.  That knowledge hurts more than I can tell you.  It breaks my heart every year and for a split second I want to leave, to escape the pain....but then I think about the pain that would be involved in leaving.  That pain would be a hundred fold.  I have no idea how I will ever be able to say goodbye to this place, these people, and this job.  I love it so much and it will honestly take an act from the Father to get me out of here. 
So, thank you my friends for giving me a place where I feel like a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, and more.  Thank you for giving me a place and people I can't stand the thought of leaving.  Thank you for being there to support me through all things.  Thank you for all you do.  I would not be who I am without your love. 
And to my dear friends who are leaving, you have changed my life for the better.  I will never be the same because of you.  I will miss you so much and I look forward to seeing you again...even if it isn't until Heaven.  I love you!

On Moving...Again...

I'm convinced that I am cursed.  No one should move as much as I have.  Today I moved for the 5th time since I moved to China four years ago....which brings me up to a total of 17 moves in my almost 26 years of life...all but 3 of those moves being in the last 8 years.  I don't know about you, but that just seems like a ridiculous amount to me. 
Looking back over the last year I'm still reeling from this move.  I am reeling because this year I got exactly what I wanted.  I had the best roommate I have ever had, I lived in the nicest apartment I have ever had, I had the best upstairs neighbors I have ever had, and I completed this whole move in a week and a half after finding a new place.  I'm reeling because I'm, in a way, losing all of those things.  I am losing my roommate to Tianjin, I am in a new apartment, my fabulous neighbors are suddenly farther away, and my swift move left me rather emotionally unstable.  However, there are a lot of reasons this move is also good.  I'll be able to see my fabulous roommate because she'll still be in China, I LOVE my new apartment that is all mine, my fabulous neighbors are still only about 3 minutes away, and did I mention that I get to live in this apartment alone?  I have also gained another fabulous new neighbor who I can't wait to spend more time with.
Ok, so for China move number 5 highs and lows before I fall asleep.  High, seven of my amazing friends helped me to pack my entire house in a 4 hour time period last night.  Low, a crucial part of my favorite chair was lost during the move...how to replace that piece?  High, watching my dining table be lowered through our kitchen window successfully because it wouldn't fit through the door.  Low, I only slept a few hours last night so I can't do anything correctly currently.  High and low, Chinese acrobatic moving is amazing to watch, but it also really stresses me out...especially after the piano fell on that one guy 2 moves ago and when all my veggie oil spilled on the floor on the last move when I had no idea where any cleaning supplies were.  High, the colors I picked for my new walls are PERFECT!  I love them.  Low, my house is still a total mess after unpacking for multiple hours.  High, my wonderful friends have been helping take care of me!  One brought me lunch, one keeps dropping by to see how I'm doing, one is coming by tomorrow to do all the tall person stuff, one kept all my food in their fridge for two days, one is helping me unpack everything, one called to see how I was doing, one translated for me when I had issues speaking to the movers, and everyone asked how things were going and how I was doing.  Even if this move had been completely horrible, I would still have felt loved because of my friends.  Thank you all so much for being there for me and not leaving me alone.  I love you all so much!