Thursday, December 22, 2011

A Visit to the Wailing Wall...

When I was preparing to come teaching in China, I heard someone speaking about their international school.  They said that they end every year at the "Wailing Wall" to say goodbye.  At that time I have no idea why they would call their goodbye location the "wailing wall."  I have gained a little international experience since then and I understand all too well why they would call it the "wailing wall."
Imagine just for a moment...you are at school and your friend announces that they are moving away in two weeks.  In America, the short notice would have shocked you, but here companies announce on very short notice that they want employees to move to another country on a regular basis.  Also in America, you would have been sad to see your friend go, but there would have been promises to call each other and visit as soon as possible.  Here, kids don't really promise to call (though email makes life a little easier).  They don't promise they'll see you again.  Most of the time when they say goodbye, they know it is forever.  They know that you will never see that person again and they have said goodbye to so many people that they will enjoy every moment they have with that person, but they won't plan your future around them. 
I know this sounds hearltess and cold, but an international person's life is based on the knowledge that people will leave.  The longer you live in a transient community the more you get used to people leaving.  One of the first questions you ask is "How long will you be here?"  It's hard to admit, but I have a hard time getting to know people that I know have no intention of staying beyond a year or two.  I don't want to give them a piece of my heart and have them take it away so soon.  It is also easier to jump deep with people in an international community.  I have no problem telling a person I know well about more intimate details of my life that I would only tell a good friend in America.  Why is it easier?  Because from the moment you meet, the clock is ticking.  You only have so much time.  You don't want to waste it. 
So, today I visited the "wailing wall."  We said goodbye to eight students in elementary today.  I knew all the kids, though I knew some better than others.  The ones I had taught had me wrapped around their little fingers.  Today my heart broke a little as they took part of my heart with them.  I'll miss them so much. 
PS - In case you are wondering, our school visits the "wailing wall" anytime we need to, but Christmas and the end of the school year are definites. 

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