Sunday, October 21, 2012

I am an Introvert

I'm a total introvert.  Honestly, about 350 days a year I LOVE being an introvert.  I love the fact that I am comfortable with my own company, that I can find peace in the silence, and that I don't need to have another person around to feel complete.  I love the days I spend alone and pretend the world outside doesn't exist.  My favorite days are the ones where I don't say an entire word the whole day.   I also love that I've learned (for the most part) how to balance life as an introvert while interacting with/being friend extroverts on a regular basis.  
(Bunny trail: Did you know that I almost never said anything before I went to college?  The end of my first year of college, I made friends with an extrovert who changed my life.  I learned how to be friends with extroverts that year.  During the last seven-ish years I've been working to learn how to be an introvert who likes being friends with both introverts and extroverts.  It's not always easy, but it is worth it to me.)
There are some days when my need to be exclusively introverted kicks in.  Most of the time I plan time to be introverted.  I usually spend one day each week completely alone.  Usually one day is enough, but sometimes I need more.  And then there are days when my introverted-ness kicks in unexpectedly.  Those are the days when I want to fight it, but then I find more peace when I just let myself be who I am.
This weekend my introverted-ness caught me unawares.  I had a rough week at school with a few students and I could feel myself pulling into my shell.  I made it through the rest of the school week with some support from some awesome friends, but Saturday arrived and I knew I needed to cancel my plans for the day and just stay home.  I fought against it because I wanted to be with friends, but when I gave in...I found peace and rest.  Sunday needed to be a turtle day too, but I needed groceries so I also decided to go to fellowship (...where the Father filled me with His peace. I'm glad I went.) After fellowship, I planned to run home right after grabbing some groceries, but a friend somehow talked me into lunch first.  I ended up going to lunch with three introverts.  It was so peaceful.  We had a good conversation, but there was no pressure to make conversation.  I wasn't judged in my desire not to speak; I was supported....silently. :)  It was just what I needed today.  It made me love being an introvert.  I felt at peace. 
Now I'm on my couch alone in my house.  I won't say another word the rest of the day.  I can't tell you how unbelievably excited that makes me.  I'm not sure how many more days I'll need to be in my turtle shell this week, but I think it may be the whole week.  And to my wonderful extroverted friends, please know that I am not hiding.  I am resting.  It's been too long since I've allowed myself to rest.  I'll come back to the extroverted world soon.  But this week, I'm not going to try to be anyone but me.
Just be glad I'm not taking a vow of silence.  :) ...Though honestly, the idea really does appeal to me.  There is so much to be learned from silence.

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